'pausin' in 2010

I decided that this year (2010) I will lighten up a bit. I have noted that, especially of late, I have become all too serious. I therefore present this to you with all good humor intended. I hope it makes you laugh.

Are you "'pausin'"???

There is humor to be found in our bodily functions. I swear there is. Isn't there? Come on.

As children we laugh at drooling, burps and flatulence among other things. But, we are taught those things are rude and distasteful and adults frown upon it greatly. Why is that? I mean it happens to everyone. Right? Yes, there are ways of quieting the systems. But the occurrence is still there. And if you have an uncle or a grandfather who likes you to pull their finger.....
you see? There is humor - when we stop being so stodgy about it all.
You smiled - I know you did - admit it. ;-)

So what does one do when the time comes for a woman to "embrace the crone", as one friend put it? Or 'pausin' as I like to call it. [I took the "men" out of it as they don't deserve the credit. They don't have to live with it - Just with us. I do sympathize with them on that count - really!] And 'pausin' just kinda seemed appropriate as we are pausing our lives - reviewing, renewing, etc.

Aside from the more intimate issues that come with 'pausin' there are several more noticeable symptoms. One minute we are happy and well, the next frustrated and sometimes
even tearful. (OK, so that one isn't all that new for me - being a bit emotional to start with, and all.) Or, suddenly flushed; feeling as though we've just been lowered into a steam room and then chilled nearly to the bone from the sweat that now sits on our drying skin.
Jacket on - jacket off - jacket on........
"what did you just say to me?!"

Then there is our hair?? All that sweating... it's just not possible to have a good hair day! (Which also isnt' that new for me) But what is with the fall out? It's worse than living with a red-setter around here. I shed this time of year anyway, but it seems much worse than "normal".

It is, actually, all rather funny. Don't you think?
I mean we have to laugh. Or else we'd cry - we just might anyway. Just on account.

And sleep deprivation! What is with this? Don't they use that in concentration camps as torture??? No wonder we get grumpy and tearful. Those hormone shifts are disturbing the normal sleep patterns to start with. Then try sleeping when your hot and cold and hot and cold. (It's worse than a date night with someone who's having a few too many drinks.)
It is particularly interesting in my household as we sleep with both 6' windows wide open and no heat on in the house. So, cold is really cold. The other night my husband said I had goosebumps
the size of geese. {heavy sigh}

As you can tell, I am 'pausin'.
I'm OK with the idea of not having anymore children - my husband is still really 13, anyway. We are hopeful to one day be able to retire, travel and just enjoy the grand kids - and maybe a dog.
And I don't mind getting older - really. After all the alternative isn't very nice. I don't think I'd look good dead. And, if I can look as good as my mom does (she's a lively 76) it won't be bad to be "old" at all. I don't even mind my gray hair. A friend told me recently that it should be considered free platinum highlights. I like that. I am actually looking forward to having hair long enough to braid regularly. I've always liked that look. Although on my bad hair days I swear I'm going to chop it all off. I did that when my grand-daughter was little and it was really cute.

I gotta tell you the sleep thing - that's starting to get to me.
I've actually developed some techniques to assist during the night. Well, they are more like positions. (And if anyone tries to make something sexual out of this I swear I will hit them - with something very hard.) I've taken to wearing long cotton tee shirts - they don't stick as much and are easy to wash. They aren't very sexy, but at this point who cares.

1) flatiron - this works best when one is sleeping alone:
lay spread eagle (I prefer on my stomach) across the bed with the upper corners of the covers near your hands. As the heat starts you have options. You can just force your feet out the bottom corners and push back some of the covers or you can actually flip over uncovering as needed and then flip back when cooling off, bringing the covers with you.
It's sorta like flap jacks being tossed in a pan. ;-)

2) footy - this is good for when your husband (or sig. other) is at home with you:
Staying on your side of the bed, (you don't want any extra heat from your other half anyway) keeping the upper corner of your half of the covers in the hand on top, for ease of removal. Having arranged the lower corner of the covers loosely for your foot, and if necessary, your
whole leg, to emerge easily from the covers. You can simply slip out of the covers or you can flip on or flip off the covers, as needed. (You can flip off the husband, too, if he makes any smart remarks - sorry) Sometimes simply allowing the foot to escape the heat is sufficient.

I'm sure there are other methods. These are what is working for me at the moment.

I've additionally taken to carrying a fan with me. A small oriental fan.
It is easily portable and ever so helpful during those heated moments. Let 'em laugh. I can always fold it up and use it to hit 'em. :-} (I know - getting testy aren't I?)
And as for the hair? Well with my history of bad hair days and all I'm kinda used to it. Hopefully I won't lose it all. If I do I have a lovely collection of scarves I can wear.

Here's to aging gracefully and with humor. )-|
(that's a martini glass)

PS A friend recently informed me that Dr. Oz said to use Black Cohosh and Sage Tea. So far, it seems to be working. I'll let you know.